If you have a very challenging youngster, here is a technique that will give you and the child success.
Give the disruptive child four clothes pegs. Clip them together to make a square. At the beginning of the school day place them on top of the student’s desk where they are readily visible and accessible.
When the particularly challenging student acts irresponsibly, quietly ask for a clothes peg.
Taking the clothes peg gives something tangible to attach to an undesirable behaviour and an opportunity to have the child make a better choice. The student is prompted to reflect, “Is this behaviour worth losing a clothes peg, or can I figure this out on my own?”
When this approach is used to the point that the child loses no more clothes pegs, then ask the student, “Are you now mature enough so that we don’t have to have them anymore?”
By using this procedure and having the student reflect, you will find that using clothes pegs will no longer be necessary. The youngster will have weaned himself from the external approach.
Here are some additional ideas for working with challenging young students:
1. Continue to repeat the mantra, “Do you want to remain a victim?” If the procedure established was not effective, then
repeat the conversation, “Let’s try another procedure so that you will not continue to be a victim of your impulses.”
2. Ask for help. Even Machiavelli wrote in “The Prince” that receiving something from your subjects would gain as much loyalty as your giving something to them. A conversation with a student sounds like, “Lee, I have a problem and the only one who can help me is you. Are you willing to help me?” Of course, Lee is the problem so share the problem with him.
3. Empower the student. Put the student in charge of the activity. It is nearly impossible to do the opposite of that for which you are in charge.
4. Use reflective and self-evaluative questions suggested in the Resource Guide (available from www.marvinmarshall. com). For example, use the four questions for changing behaviour:
(1) What do you want?
(2) What are you choosing to do?
(3) What is your plan?
(4) What is your procedure to implement the plan?
Notice that self-evaluation and reflection are built into these questions because what the youngster is doing is not getting what the youngster wants.
5. Spend some time tutoring the student. Even if it is for one minute, you will notice or create some positive comment about the student that will prompt good feelings and lead the way to bonding. Having the student bond with you by your positive and empowering remarks will do more than anything else to promote responsible behaviour and a desire for the student to do what you desire the student to do.
More about Marvin Marshall’s proactive and totally noncoercive (but not permissive) approach to promote responsible behavior, reduce classroom discipline problems, and increase learning is available at http:// www.marvinmarshall.com