Teaching Kids it’s Okay to
Show Emotion
As I walked through the playground today, I felt a hand tugging sharply on the side of my jacket. Looking down I saw a little face with a panicked expression, very keen to get my attention. “Julia, Julia! I just saw Whaea Liz crying!”
One of the other teachers had obviously had a rough lunchtime. Sheltering inside with a supportive colleague, she’d been spotted by the eagle eyes of a very concerned six year old. “Yes, honey, something must have happened to make Whaea Liz feel sad. She just needs some time to feel better.” “But teachers don’t cry!” exclaimed Miss Six.
This really got me thinking. You see, it’s only week six and already this term, I have cried twice at school!
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Is she dealing with some pretty hard core kids’ behaviour? Actually, no! Both occasions had nothing to do with kids’ behaviour and
everything to do with being a human and that stuff happens to everyone.
The first time for me was a case of my head colliding with a flying basketball. I guess that’s somewhat child related but certainly not behavioural – just an occupational hazard of having duty on the courts.
The second occasion was receiving a message that my dad was being transferred immediately to secure care for his Dementia. Both situations were a real shock and both resulted in me crying. Both times I was spotted by eagle-eyed kids. (They make great little detectives, don’t they?!) Both times I assured them that while I would be okay, I appreciated their concern and care. Sometimes as a teacher, we feel like we have to hold it all together – and most of the time that is true. We are the adults, and as such,
we have learnt to manage our emotions and control our reactions. Of course, we want the kids to feel safe and secure. But we are not robots. We are not made of steel. (Well my head certainly isn’t!) There are times when our vulnerabilities show
through.
As a communicator, my tagline is, ‘Be kind to your mind.’ I teach children and adults alike to be kind to their minds by simply giving themselves a break. Letting a kid see a teacher crying would have been unheard of in the ‘olden days.’ Now I see the upside in them realising that we are NOT bullet proof.
Our bodies are fragile and our emotions are sometimes triggered. Tears, laughter and a whole range of emotions are not always to be hidden from those who care about us. What kids don’t need to learn is that we are somehow superhuman. What they do need to learn is that tough stuff happens to us all and that it’s ok to feel upset. Most importantly, they need to know it’s possible to recover.
Being kind to your mind doesn’t mean pretending it’s all okay all the time. It means giving yourself the time and space, when and where appropriate, to FEEL. “Maybe we could be extra kind to Whaea Liz this afternoon,” mused Miss Six. “I think that’s a really great idea,” I responded, with a little tear in
my eye.