Basic ground rules to guide your behaviour
Parent meetings can be tricky. They require considerable expertise as there can be a lot of emotion involved as parents have so much invested of themselves in their children.
To help even challenging meetings run smoothly it helps to have some basic ground rules to guide your behaviour, and stop you from being reactive to parent agendas and moods (yours as well as theirs).
Here are 10 simple ground rules that will help your meetings be effective and conflict free:
1. Work ‘from the best interest of the child’
The child’s best interests are often lost when there is conflict between the school and family. It’s replaced by winning the day, which is largely about ego. Always keep the best interests of the child in mind when meeting with parents.
2. Remember that parents won’t always follow your rules
Teachers by nature are rule-oriented, procedural people. Education generally demands adherence to policy and procedure. Parents aren’t necessarily bound by adherence to the same rules of conduct and behaviour as you. Be alert, but not alarmed.
3. Separate your person from your position
Your relationship with a parent is first and foremost a professional rather than a personal relationship. That means you stick to professional standards, using appropriate language and behaving like a professional. Aim for effectiveness rather than being liked.
4. Match the time, place and format to the requirements of the meeting
An informal meeting with a parent at drop-off time may be ideal to give some good news about a child’s learning break through. However it’s probably not the best time or place to talk about a child’s difficult behaviour. Better that type of conversation occurs during an arranged meeting. That may mean that you politely invite the parent to meet with you at a more convenient time so that can fully attend to the problem or situation at hand.
5. Prepare yourself with the facts, figures and documentation
It’s not always possible to have everything you want at your fingertips before a meeting but do your best to produce documentation to support you if conversations become difficult. The best way to get around parent denial is to back up what you are talking about with samples, documentation or correct information
6. Find out what the parent knows
Whether you or a parent calls a meeting, let the parent fill you in on what he or she knows about a situation before you give your take on it. Get the parents’ viewpoint first.
7. Look for the educative moments
There are many times in meetings and other interactions with parents that you can educate parents about children in general, good teaching and learning practice and school protocols and procedures. Remind them what they know rather tell.
8. Make it the best experience possible for parents
Regardless of the content of the meeting, work hard to make the meeting process as enjoyable and professional as possible. Parents need to feel valued and listened to during meetings and conferences. That is the way of teaching professionals. Will parents leave a meeting or interaction with you saying that that was enjoyable experience?
Will they leave feeling listened to and valued? Will they tell others of the professional way that they were treated? A bad experience travels a lot faster and further than a good experience.
9. Remember, you can’t be a free agent for a parent
There are times when parents may want you to go way passed what’s reasonable for their child. While special circumstances require specialised responses you can’t operate outside normal protocols and procedures. You represent a school that represents a system.
10. Be careful what you promise
In the interest of creating good feelings in a meeting it is easy to promise more than you can deliver in the classroom, playground or learning centre. Only promise the things that you can deliver and make sure you do as you say you will.
As much as is humanly practical, try to have parents leaving a meeting with feeling that they have been listened to, that you value their contribution to their child’s education and with feelings of hope, that there are solutions to problems and there are strategies that they can put into place that will improve situations – whether learning, behavioural or social.