How using set routines can help you increase your effectiveness

When people find out that I’m a presenter the first question they ask is, “Do I get nervous speaking in front of people?” I do get some nerves but my pre-presentation routine helps me keep my emotions under control. I have a list of activities that I go through every time to make sure I’m fully prepared for my presentation.

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  • Is the seating ok? Check.
  • Is the PowerPoint working? Check.
  • Is the sound okay? Check.

And so it goes on until five minutes before the presentation when I sit by myself, gather my thoughts and check my self-talk.

Screen Shot 2016-01-27 at 1.59.14 pmMy pre-presentation routine not only reduces nerves but also ensures I get into presentation mode so I’m ready to do my best. Elite sportspeople, stage actors and live performers usually all have their personal preparation routines to help get them in the best possible state for high-level performance. In fact, professionals in any area of endeavor have usually developed their own processes to help them prepare mentally as well as physically for the task ahead.

As an educator you too can benefit from having a personal set of processes to help you prepare for meetings with parents. It can be challenging moving from teaching or a solitary working mode to a meeting mode that requires different skill sets such as questioning, listening, mediating and problem solving.

A set routine such as clearing your desk, preparing files or data, checking seating and even going to the staff room or a quiet space for a few minutes to clear your head is the sort of process that will help put you in the right state for meeting with parents. It’s best to go through the routine before every meeting, not just those you anticipate as being challenging. My experience is that when I don’t follow my set processes my effectiveness drops.

It’s also useful to identify processes for all sorts of interactions with parents. For instance, what process do you have for handling parent complaints? Do you wing it, or do you have a set process that you can rely on?

A frustrated principal contacted our office recently outlining a difficulty he had logging in to our Parentingideas Schools website to get our latest articles for parents. Annoyed that he couldn’t access them, he gave quite a critique of our website! Marg, Parentingideas’ online manager, didn’t become defensive or take the criticism personally when she communicated with this principal.

Instead, she responded expertly.

Here’s what she did:

She acknowledged the frustration. “I am sorry to hear of your frustration regarding……………….” Screen Shot 2016-01-27 at 1.58.38 pm

She appreciated the feedback. “We do take feedback seriously and continually make changes to improve our site.” Then she acted to fix the problem: “It sounds like you have a problem with…I’ll work you through the issue.

Professionals have processes

This 3-step process is simple, yet powerful. It’s one that you can use when parents approach you either in person, by phone, or by email with a legitimate concern or query. Here’s how it works:

Step #1, acknowledging the emotion is essential. You’ll get nowhere until you acknowledge or address a parents’ emotions whether annoyance, frustration or anger.

Step #2, appreciating the feedback shows that you are willing to learn and want to improve using the parent’s experiences to help make adjustments.

Step #3, involves some type of action to fix an issue or improve a situation. It may not be possible to always fix a problem to a parent’s satisfaction, but it’s important to initiate some type of action to improve the situation, even if it’s simply along the lines of “I’ll monitor the situation and get back to you in two weeks to see if there is an improvement.”

How do you typically respond to parent complaints and frustrations? Do you have a process you can rely on when parent emotions fly high? If not, you run the risk of inflaming a situation by becoming either aggressive or even worse, becoming defensive when you are on the receiving end of a complaint.

As a professional you need a process for handling complaints just like you need a process for preparing for meetings as well as running great meetings, and for the other interactions you have with parents.

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Michael Grose


Author, columnist and presenter Michael Grose currently supports over 1,100 schools in Australia, New Zealand and England in engaging and supporting their parent communities. He is also the director of Parentingideas, Australia’s leader in parenting education resources and support for schools. In 2010 Michael spoke at the prestigious Headmaster’s Conference in England, the British International Schools Conference in Madrid, and the Heads of Independent Schools Conference in Australia, showing school leadership teams how to move beyond partnership-building to create real parent-school communities. For bookings, parenting resources for schools and Michael’s famous Free Chores & Responsibilities Guide for Kids, go to www. parentingideas.com.au.