Harvey! Even just hearing the name for this teacher sends shudders down her spine. He is only a young lad of 10 but he seems to have magical powers over her. She wakes up at night worrying what to do about him. She thinks of him as she prepares the family meal. She has even begun calling her own son Harvey, particularly when he chooses behaviours that are unacceptable in the home. She had put her mental health in the hands of a ten year old. How could this be?
Harvey is a bright young lad. He has parents who are loving and kind. When he is motivated, nothing will stop him or hold him back. He can achieve the highest quality work. When he is not motivated however, he chooses behaviours like annoying others, refusing to begin or complete work, disrupting his own learning and the learning of others. Why does he do this? What is behind these choices in behaviour? There are many possible explanations.
Harvey is deliberately out to get attention – in particular the attention of his teacher Or he just does not enjoy the work he is being given Or he wants to pick and choose what he does rather than being told Perhaps he wants to test out the boundaries the teacher had set. Or he would rather socialise than do the work. Whatever the reason, they are his best attempt to get what he wants, but it is at the expense of his own learning and that of others.
For this teacher, understanding his behaviour is a key to taking back control of her mental health. According to William Glasser we all have five basic needs. The need for survival and safety; the need for belonging and connectedness; the need for power and competence; the need for choice and freedom; and the need for fun and enjoyment. We constantly live our lives in different ways to meet these needs. The five needs provide a useful framework for understanding where the behaviour is generated from and which of the needs are, or are not being met.
If Harvey wants to check where the boundaries are, he wants to feel safe. This behaviour meets his need for Survival. If he would rather chat than do his work he wants friendships. Belonging is the need he is attempting to meet. If he wants to be the centre of attention and to be recognised, this meets his need for Power.If he doesn’t want to be restricted, it is about the need for Freedom. If he is bored he wants some excitement, he is looking for Fun.
These genetic needs won’t go away and he will meet them one way or the other. Up and clean or down and dirty. At the moment he is meeting them in down and dirty ways. He will continue to meet these needs that way until he learns another way that is as needs satisfying as those he is currently choosing. Add to this mix, Harvey’s unique genetic profile, which means that he will have one or more of these needs that are stronger than the others. The strength of the needs play out in the classroom in different ways.
If Harvey has a high need for Fun, he will constantly choose behaviours to get what he wants to meet that need. This is a driving motivation for him. He will meet this need one way or the other, either in productive ways or unproductive ways. If things are not fun for him he will act out in variety of ways to make the classroom more fun for him.
The behaviours to meet the needs are like a dripping tap. They won’t go away, but like the dripping tap, we can bring about change when we change the washer. While it is tempting to try and control what Harvey is doing – turn off the tap more tightly – with more reprimands and bigger and more severe consequences, teachers have more chance of helping students to be successful with changes they make in their approach to dealing with the misbehaviour. In teaching students to meet those needs in a productive ways, teachers can change the washer. It is not quick, it is not easy, but it is possible, even with the most challenging child.
Seeing discipline as an opportunity to teach a better way to behave, gives teachers the best chance possible of helping the Harveys of this world to become more productive class members and ultimately more productive citizens.