The Question is, “Why?”

The Answer is, “Why Not?”

“The answer to, ‘How?’ is YES.” –Peter Block

Coaching in education and business alike always require continual refinement. Peter Block wrote the book referenced above. His reframing of the question from “How?” to, “What do you say ‘yes’ to?” has been helpful

in my coaching. Dan Dominguez of the WHY.OS Institute, hosts a podcast titled, “WHY Not Wednesdays?” After listening, I considered that a possible answer to the question, “Why?” might be, “Why not?”

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The idea of uncovering your own magic was discussed in the last couple of podcasts. Occasionally, when we are committed to an idea or project, we second guess ourselves
with questions like, “Is this the right thing to do?” If the results are not what we want, WHY NOT try something else? Creative solutions can remain unused if we ignore
possibilities! We experience an ‘intuitive hit’ when a new approach feels right. Yes, it’s the “AHA” moment. Don’t ignore the internal creation of solutions – not everything
comes from external sources. There are normally unintended consequences and, as my friend Michael Grinder says, “Recovery is more important than perfection.”

Last week’s podcast hosted Steph McFee. Steph emphasised, “Why NOT try something?” An alternative or a counterintuitive idea might be the answer to a problem. Life
is a puzzle. Learn to solve puzzles quickly. See the problem and bring a solution to solve it. The more repertoire a coach has to help create solutions, the more possibilities there are to solve problems. With repertoire, if a solution doesn’t work, we can try something else.

Continuing with the theme of WHY NOT, the research I read of people at the end of their lives is as follows: What do people regret most?

  1. I did not live my life of dreams
  2. I did not share my love.
  3. I did not forgive.

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.” –Albert Einstein

WHY NOT? Here are some thoughts to apply to those regrets.

  1. What is your WHY? What excites you? What energises you? What do you like to do? Why do you delay having fun? What would you do if there were no constraints?
  2. Angeles Arrien said, “The greatest remorse is love unexpressed.” Who or what are you grateful for? Have you told the person? Have you counted your blessings?
  3. What grudges are you still carrying around? That is a heavy burden. How much mental energy are you wasting letting grudges living free in your head? If you have told a story three times, it’s time to let it go. Telling the story no longer serves a purpose.

What are you waiting for? Why NOT?

“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, ‘WOO HOO! What a ride!’”  –Florence Ondré

Open yourself up to new possibilities. Run an experiment –  try the ideas others bring to the table. It’s very possible that idea is better than how the school or company is currently doing things. Once you’ve tried it, use the “Reverse Las Vegas Effect.” Las Vegas, Nevada, in the USA is famous for the saying, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” So, in the reverse, don’t let the results of your experiment stay in house. Tell everyone! If it doesn’t work? Tell everyone! If it did work? Tell everyone! Why would we keep that information from other people?

What is your WHY?

People will ask, “What do you want?”

We can learn from the past but we can’t change it. We work in the present, but must imagine and plan for the future. Many times, in coaching, the client remembers the past, is having feelings about what happened in the present, thus projecting negative feelings to the future. Research confirms negative experiences are remembered stronger than positive experiences. So, why NOT focus on the future and the – thoughts we can control?’

An Autobiography in Five Chapters

Portia Nelson

Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in. I am lost …
I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there. I still fall in …
It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5
I walk down another street.

Why NOT Walk Down Another Street?

Note: The second part – “Why? Because!” – will be coming in the
next issue.

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Bill Sommers


Dr William A. Sommers, PhD, of Austin, Texas, continues to be a learner, teacher, principal, author, leadership coach and consultant. Bill has come out of retirement multiple times to put theory into practice as a principal. His latest book is 9 Professional Conversations to Change Our Schools. He can be contacted at sommersb4@gmail.com