Tips and Strategies for Success
Children from families with one child are on the rise in Australian and New Zealand schools. If these children were a political party, they’d now be part of the mainstream as around 15% of families contain one child. So, what are only children really like?
Many of the characteristics of first borns such as perfectionism, an achievement orientation and conservatism are exaggerated in this group. Most research into birth order indicates that this group generally have healthy levels of self-esteem and are more confident and articulate than children in other situations. The fact that they spend a great deal of their early years in the company of parents who can devote their considerable time, energy and resources into just one child can give them an academic advantage. They also benefit from the fact that unlike eldest children, only children don’t experience the ignominy and angst of dethronement. They are, and will always be the sole focus of
parental attention and energy.
For teachers, birth order knowledge of their students offers a rich vein of information to assist them to manage and motivate their students. The following tips will help teachers make sense of the fascinating cohort of students who are only children:
Top 3 Characteristics of Only Children:
• Reliable
The need for adult recognition means that you can rely on an only child to work conscientiously and stick to class rules.
• Conservative
Spending a great deal of their early life in an adult world means many only children follow along traditional family lines.
• Confident
Ultra-stimulation by parents and a tendency to spend more time on their own makes this cohort articulate, knowledgeable and comfortable in their own skins.
3 Traits to be Aware:
• Self-Absorbed
Only children may become absorbed in their own world and forget to include those around them in their activities.
• Resistant to Criticism
No one likes to be criticised, but only children have a tendency to take criticism and feedback more personally than those in other birth order positions.
• Tendency Toward Ultra-Perfectionism
Many only children expect a great deal from the world, as well as a great deal from themselves. They will often put off doing a job unless they can do it perfectly.
Teaching Strategies Beneficial to Only Children
Encourage only children to mix with others. Only children are used to life being smooth and relatively easy, so sharing time and space with others is not their forte. Group learning sessions, informal social activities and multi-age learning will help this cohort gain the social capacities that children in families with siblings usually develop.
Help them develop conflict resolution strategies. Some only children struggle with the social requirements of group settings, particularly resolving conflict with peers. Help them develop a variety of conflict resolution strategies such as compromise, taking turns and following the lead of others.
Use fun and play to loosen them up. Only children can have intense personalities so be prepared to have some fun and be playful with them.
Avoid putting pressure on only children because they generally already put a great deal of pressure on themselves.
Engaging with Parents of Only Children
Parents often have a great deal of emotional investment in their only child. They usually know about the small details of their child’s life and have a tendency to micromanage. When working with a parent of an only child, be prepared to listen intently to their views as they will have a great deal to offer. They usually appreciate a great deal of communication from school.
It’s common for parents of only children to lack appropriate developmental knowledge so be prepared to put their minds at ease about issues that they may perceive as being bigger problems than they really are. Parents of only children may benefit from attending school-led parenting programmes to build familiarity with developmentally-appropriate parenting methods.