Being a Better Version of Yourself

One of the things that frustrates me about the world of self- help, self-development, health and wellness, is that there is an assumption that there is something wrong with us that we need to fix, or improve, to become ‘better versions of ourselves’. It seems to be a growing catchphrase these days, to become ‘a better version of yourself’. But what does that actually mean?

When we listen to others ‘self help’ talk, we often envisage the version of ourselves that we want to be if things could be different, and then we compare that to where we are right now, and we see a ‘gap’. Does that ‘gap’ actually need to be crossed? That ‘gap’ seems to indicate to us that today we are in some way inadequate – not the ‘best’ version, that we could be ‘better’. Sure, we all would like to be our best selves, every moment of every day, but bringing our ‘better version’ forth every day is unrealistic and fraught with problems, implying that there is always a ‘better version’. I believe you are the version of yourself that you choose – every day.

The best version of me, for example, is full of laughter, humour, connecting with others, clear as to the path that I am on and where I want to go. This version is very positive, self directed and full of energy. Other people might say the ‘best version’ of myself is one where I lose some weight, so that I am more ‘marketable’ as a speaker, because that is what they consider is best for me.

The reality is that the positive, humorous person isn’t me all the time and I’m sure it isn’t you, but we often imply on social media that it is. I have heard about numerous people who post on social media about their wonderful life, living the best version of themselves, but in reality the truth is far from that – and yet no-one knows that, because it’s not what they post online.

How often do you, or someone you know, scroll through Facebook or Instagram and see the wonderful lives that others are living and feel less than adequate. The truth is, you have a choice – to stop comparing yourself to others and go do whatever makes you feel happy – and you don’t have to share that online!

Sometimes I don’t feel like connecting with others, I don’t feel particularly positive or even self directed. I often procrastinate, sometimes I don’t eat particularly healthy, wear baggy comfy clothes, and wear no make up. Is this still the best version of myself – do I have to strive for something more to please others, or should I just learn acceptance of myself, be kind to myself and keep my eye on what is important.

How can we possibly be the best version of ourselves all the time, and whose ‘best’ is it anyway? Although people often say you are the director and actor in your own movie, the reality is, you don’t get to rehearse, you don’t get to do scenes over and over until they are perfect. You do however, get to choose what path you take.

I don’t believe that life is about finding or becoming the best version of yourself. It’s about accepting and allowing yourself to be whatever you want to be at that moment, being kind to yourself and just appreciating and being grateful for your life. You know deep down whether you should exercise more, eat better, work on various parts of your relationships, business or family.