Handling Tricky Situations

Tips for Appropriately Addressing Concerns

Teaching and guiding students is a big responsibility and an honour. We try our best to provide supportive learning environments and inspire student learning while catering for learning differences. We might also be juggling day-to-day demands of being a working parent. Teaching and looking after ourselves as school employees involves skill, empathy, objectivity, organisation, self-care, commitment and clear communication. Working well with parents and supporting their children requires due diligence but to be effective teachers, we must look after ourselves and our students, providing ‘Duty of Care.’

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I do not want to put a dark lens on teaching, as there are many times when a career in education is wonderful. Parents have every right to question how their child is being taught or treated, however, as a carer worries about their child, they become their child’s advocate and may become emotional and frustrated. When teachers are questioned, they can feel attacked and that their best efforts aren’t ‘enough’ in the eyes of others. We may feel that some people’s glasses are often ‘half empty.’ Imagine an upset parent waiting at your classroom door, a curt phone call at the office, late-night emails and letters, terse communication book entries, or caregiver comments that don’t seem to recognise the extra systems in place to support their child or reflect any positive growth their child has made.

While sometimes it helps to remember that we can’t please everyone all of the time, respectful exchanges with others is tantamount to good practice in any workplace. So what are our options, as we respond to parental complaints and if they frenetically press us for our time?

Knock! Knock!

There’s a parent waiting for you at your classroom door. If you are happy to speak to them at before school albeit, while you’re organising your day or putting on a yard duty vest, then listening to the parent is OK. However, if this is happening often with the same person wanting lengthy discussions, perhaps right on bell-time, while kids are walking into the room, it’s important to politely acknowledge them and their need to talk but if it’s not a good time, say so. Ask the parent to write an email, or make a mutually convenient meeting time, stating that it’s important that you can then give your full attention to any important matters.

Communication is key and everyone needs to be fully informed about important matters related to changes to safety and wellbeing, concerns about learning and other areas such as legal custody issues. If the matter is not urgent and it feels as though they are trying to befriend you, then you will need to take charge and find ways to avoid misusing your precious set- up time. Take charge by saying a friendly ‘good morning,’ while walking past with arms full of books, boxes or whatever, to show that you’re on a mission to get something done before the bell. Walking with purpose is a subtle way of letting others know you’re busy. You have work to do.

A Keyboard Warrior

Nowadays, it’s easy for people to express their views using
their devices. Being behind a keyboard enables a complaining individual to blurt out a grievance and be heard. Pressing the send button can be an instant and powerful purge for some. As tempting as checking mail is, looking at work emails late at night isn’t healthy for anyone. Take charge and disable work email alerts to minimise the threat of late-night stressors. To remain informed and prepared, check emails in the morning before school instead. To lose sleep worrying about negative email correspondence can compound situations and may affect the way in which tricky situations are managed.

The ‘Friend’ Request

For many reasons, being friends with parents on social media can be problematic. School should have a website or Facebook page where parents can learn about what pertains to their child in classroom blogs and newsletters. Close familiarity is not healthy in a professional teacher-parent relationship. Your school should have a policy on the use of social media and permissions. Familiarise yourself with the documents to avoid problems. Mutual privacy should be respected so If you are asked, saying that you have ‘a personal policy not to accept parent friend requests on social media for valid reasons,’ is a clever way of stating you have personal reasons and don’t wish to elaborate and that’s OK. It’s not easy for anyone to object to a ‘personal policy.’

Duty of Care

If an adult seems very agitated and comes to see you unannounced, respectfully acknowledge the situation while at the same time, lead them away so that they are not within earshot of children and others. Should you need support with your class, ask a nearby colleague. However, if a situation escalates and you feel unsafe and children are about, consider lock-down procedures. This is duty of care but is a worst-case scenario. If you believe the situation has settled, politely ask the parent to go to the office to see a member of the leadership team (while reassuring them that you will meet ASAP). Alert the office of the situation so that someone is there and ready to help them.

It may help to ask a staff mentor to accompany you to any potentially stressful meetings, provided that all attendees are informed. Being out-numbered can be stressful for anyone. It is good practise to organise meetings when a situation settles down so that a productive conversation can take place.

Suffice to say, that when we experience a series of smooth days while teaching happy and enthusiastic kids, we feel positive and in ‘The Zone.’ Anticipating and managing tricky situations well can also feel great. With our best intentions at the forefront of our respectful decision-making and developing a communicative skill set, we benefit greatly from objectively determining situations to stay in control and in doing so, we can best look after ourselves and others.

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Susan Spelic


Susan has 30 years of experience as a Literacy Interventionist and EAL teaching. She writes innovative titles to support classroom and home reading and spelling pro-grammes. She is a teacher, author, graduate mentor and professional speaker.
For more information, please contact her at: read@thereadingmountain.orgSusan has 30 years of experience as a Literacy Interventionist and EAL teaching. She writes innovative titles to support classroom and home reading and spelling pro-grammes. She is a teacher, author, graduate mentor and professional speaker.
For more information, please contact her at: read@thereadingmountain.org