Do you ever feel like climbing the walls purely out of frustration with your class of 25 plus children, or maybe it’s just those ‘one or two’ students each day?
Do you ever feel frustrated or defeated when the children in your classroom won’t settle, they have an attitude or they seem restless and fidgety? Do you feel yourself getting annoyed and wish that they’d just do as you asked them to do?
If we dig a little deeper and observe children’s behaviour, we can usually uncover what they are trying to tell us.
Children of all ages have difficulty self regulating if their neural patterning takes them to a default behaviour that might include being defiant, whinging or non compliant. As humans, we go to what we know when we feel unsure or stressed.
We each have our own ‘virtual backpack’ that we carry through life. That is, we all have individual skills, beliefs, morals, values, experiences, religion, culture, hopes, dreams, insecurities, likes and dislikes.
Children are no different. Just like adults, they carry a ‘backpack’ that makes them who they are. But sometimes, what’s in those backpacks spill out, and become poor behaviour choices.
Children don’t wake up in the morning and think,’Oh, I wonder what I can do today to stir up my teacher!’ Usually, behaviour is a learnt response to a situation.
As teachers, if we can put together the pieces of the jigsaw and identify the behaviour triggers, than we can work with the child and family toward finding a positive learning environment for everyone. Sometimes this is straightforward and sometimes it’s not.
When it’s not as straightforward, that’s when it is even more important for us to look at the child with curiosity – not animosity! There may be a medical problem, an undiagnosed condition or it could be part of the child’s mechanisms to have their needs met.
So what do you do when you have a mutiny in your classroom? Next time you want to climb the walls try these steps:
1. Stop and Take a Breath:
Actually, really do this! Stop for 18 seconds and take 3 x 3 second deep breaths. Count for 3 on the way in and 3 on the way out. That gets oxygen into your brain and helps the blood flow. Then you can think a little more clearly and with focus.
2. Work Out the Need Behind the Behaviour:
What need isn’t being met for the child at that time? Children (and adults) have two main motivators for their behaviour: attention and power. There are two others: revenge and avoidance, but they are generally part of the attention and power needs.
3. Respond to the Need of Attention:
Do they want attention? Give them acknowledgement for something they do well (even a thumbs up for sitting on their chair) or a little job so they have a responsibility and feel noticed. Connecting with the child in this way fulfills their need for attention in a positive way. You’ll know the child’s need is for attention if you feel annoyed.
4. Respond to the Need for Power:
Do they want power? Give them a choice such as, ‘Do you want to sit on the mat with us or on the chair? It’s your choice.’ Make sure the choice is a win-win outcome. The goal is to sit down, but it doesn’t matter where. The important thing is that the child gets to choose and have the power and their need is fulfilled. If the need is power than you will feel threatened or intimidated.
Each child in class is an individual and generally of a different age with a different ‘virtual backpack’ so we can’t treat them in the same way. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work. It’s important to remember that children are not born bad. They sometimes choose bad behaviours to
get what they want and fulfil a need that they have.
So the next time you feel like climbing the walls with frustration, remember we all have needs, even we adults. So take a breath, be calm and respond. Do not react.