You probably remember exactly where you were the moment you learned of the 9/11 attack on New York’s Twin Towers. And what about the 2011 earthquake in Japan? Your memory of unique events is forever connected to the place in which you experienced them, and whether the event was traumatic or pleasurable, going back to the same place can bring back the memory. Locations have memories.
By understanding the connection between location and memory, we can set up our school life and home so that unpleasant or volatile experiences are kept separate from our everyday life. In other words, we can use the principle of decontamination to preserve our emotional energy. Decontamination is a process in which we use one set of non-verbals (such as location, posture, eye contact) for volatile information and a different set of nonverbals for other communications. By sorting our non-verbals consciously and systematically, we avoid the mistake of bringing negativity into the neutral or pleasant parts of our lives. We don’t allow bad news or stress to contaminate the good stuff, and as a result it is easier to maintain our emotional energy.
Decontamination:
The Home
When we contaminate our entire home with non-verbal reminders of work, it’s harder to rest and refresh ourselves for the next day. It’s better to have one consistent location at home where we stash any work-related objects such as lesson plans, our briefcase, or our laptop; ideally, these reminders of our professional life will be in some location far from where we eat and where we sleep. When we work on school stuff we put the material back in our consistent school storage location. The concept of decontamination has endless applications. You can sort between various home activities, too. For example, paying bills vs. having a game night with family, parenting vs. romance, etc.
Decontamination:
The Office
You can sort the non-verbals of one of your professional responsibilities from the nonverbals of other professional responsibilities. Think of positive interactions such as greeting students at the door compared to meeting with a student when evaluating their work. When you consistently match your non-verbals to the current situation, you cue yourself and others to know what to expect. You are seen as fair when you systematically use location, voice tone, facial expression, etc., that are in sync with the task at hand. For example, you would not give stern feedback in the same location and with the same voice tone that you’d use when you are complimenting a student. What other ways could you sort the nonverbals of your professional setting? How would it work, for example, to have one set of non-verbals for working on the budget, and a different set for sharing successes of the previous day? Pleasant tasks vs. unpleasant tasks? Routine work vs. strategic planning?
In each case, pay attention to your energy level and notice the difference between the times when activities are smushed together and when they are cleanly sorted. Whether big situations or everyday activities, separating different parts of your life will help you preserve your emotional energy and keep negativity at bay.