Understand your type and understand yourself.

Imagine a little 7-year- old girl in front of the class sharing what she had done in the holidays. For her, it was the day she rode the famous “Opo,” a dolphin in the Hokianga Harbour. Being the fifth child of seven in the family, she found it difficult to be heard sometimes. That day up in front of the class, she was heard and the whole experience took on the meaning and significance.

Her adventure soon got round the school. Everybody was in awe of her. Back then, in the 50s, it was a luxury to get to the seaside from where she lived. She caught the imagination of all those who heard the story. This was a defining moment for that little girl. She didn’t know it then, but this encounter over time would be a great teacher.

The truth was, there was no dolphin ride, yet at that moment, when a group of her peers held onto every word, a motivational speaker was born. She captured the imagination and interest of every ear listening. Out of her longing to be significant and accepted, she saw herself riding and enjoying the wonderful dolphin. This formed a perception, which grew into a reality for her.

Then a day of reckoning came. Her large family of brothers and sisters had a reunion. The realisation of this event hit her as they had planned to have a movie evening and an aunt had visited Opononi and taken a movie of this beautiful mammal.

The question she asked herself: “How come no one else has talked about this event amongst my brothers and sisters?” “Did this really happen?”

The day arrived for her family to leave for the reunion, and she was in the driver’s seat on their journey. She stopped at the side of the road and confessed to her husband and children her uncertainty over the event, and that it must have been her strong imagination that ran away with her.

She just wanted to shrink up and die with humiliation as her husband and children laughed until they nearly cried. She asked them to promise not to mention this to her siblings. The car doors hardly opened as the car came to a standstill at the reunion sight and out jumped three people, telling the larger family about their wife and mother and the big yarn she had spun about Opo.

This story continues to remain in the family. In fact on Opo rider’s 50th birthday, she was presented with a plaque that featured her head photoshopped onto a body of a young girl riding Opo. It read “Summer of 1956 Opononi.”

Why did this girl tell this huge story into adulthood. Imagination? Or a deep cry for significance and acceptance? A bit of both I would say. Significance is one of life’s deepest needs and often times it is not met.

So as adults, how do we get our significance?

We are more likely to accept ourselves, like ourselves, when we understand how we have been wired. I love the work of Florence Littauer, who has spent years researching and bringing understanding to people’s personalities. She claims that we come pre-packaged with a particular frame of reference. To understand our type of personality gives us an understanding of what we are good at.

For me, yes I was that child in the previous story, I had a deep need for attention and acceptance. I have discovered that I am a playful type.

So often as I meet people, I can see their discouragement as they try to be what they weren’t designed or wired to be. As a result, we sometimes do stupid things to get our needs met.

Let’s find our personality so we can get insight into what our needs are and how we can bring significance to others:

• The Playfuls desire to have fun.
• The Powerfuls desire to take control.
• The Precises desire to get it right.
• The Peacefuls desire to have harmony and no conflict.

Which one are you? If you still don’t know, have a look at these words and decide which box describes you in (a) quadrant.