Unpacking the Meaning of Impulsivity in Young Learners

Learning How to Wait

Delving into waiting, a crucial skill for self-control that can be both learned and taught.

No, David!, written and illustrated by David Shannon, is a book about a boy who has trouble thinking before acting. His mother begs, without success, for him to stop jumping on furniture and making messes. Early Years educators frequently encounter one or more ‘Davids’ in their classrooms: children that, without stopping to think, take toys from the hands of their peers, speak without listening to others or are unable to wait for their turn. In my last school year, I noticed that one of my 3-year-old students presented the behaviours listed above and would also scream and cry when he could not immediately play with what he wanted. I’ll call him ‘David.’

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Even though ‘David’ presented toy pulling behaviours more frequently than his classmates, other students could benefit from analysing their own conflicts and creating ways of helping them manage their own behaviour. Thus, the effort to help ‘David’ out turned into an Action Research project, a whole group endeavor in which students started to learn about “managing impulsivity,” a concept that is quite abstract for a 3-year-old to grasp.

The first step was to teach children the basics of self-control. With very young learners, educators must somehow show their students what managing impulsivity looks like, sounds like and feels like for their age. They have to explore the meaning in order to achieve an understanding of it. Therefore, visible thinking routines, discussions, role-playing activities, and videos about the theme were the strategies used to explore the meaning of impulsivity, including students’ favourite, “My Walrus Doesn’t Want to Wait,” by the YouTube channel, PlayKids. In this video, a walrus lacks patience, always skipping lines and taking turns, consequently pushing people away with his impulsive behaviours. After watching the videos, students participated in the creation of a mind map in which they had to create novel solutions for everyday problems caused by impulsive behaviour, such as fighting over objects and reacting physically.

After the meaning of impulsivity was unpacked, learning to wait was an important skill to master in order to manage impulsivity at that age.

Thus, a game dubbed, “The Waiting Game,” was created, in which students got an object wrapped like a present and had to wait until a timer went off in order to open it. The students were invited to give suggestions in order to create a repertoire of strategies suited to their age, such as breathing deeply, drumming their fingers on the table or counting to ten. The Waiting Game and the strategies involved were shared with parents during a Student-Led Conference, with the purpose of engaging the adults with this specific Habit of Mind and teaching them a way of helping their children wait at home.

At the end of the first trimester, the frequency of ‘David’s’ toy pulling behaviour had decreased, and more importantly, he would easily apply some of the strategies he had learned once he was reminded to do so by his educators. Moreover, the students, in general, were now aware of what impulsive behaviour was as well as the need to wait in order to cope with frustration and to improve relationships. His peers were also part of the feedback process.

They were always noticing when other students were not able to wait and would remind each other to breathe and, “Learn to wait like the walrus.”

Acknowledging patient behaviour every time it occurred in order to reinforce it was crucial during the process, giving the students constant feedback about their actions. The challenge of managing one’s impulses might change over time: early learners might not be able to wait for a toy, whereas a teenager might get in danger of jumping to conclusions without taking their time to think before acting. Learning about waiting and time management, consequently, is a building block that can be helpful in a person’s life regardless of their age. Therefore, educators are in a privileged position to reflect and help students develop and implement strategies to manage their impulses.

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Milena Sobral


With a Psychology background, Milena Sobral is a passionate Early Childhood educator based in Brazil, who weaves Habits of Mind and Harvard’s Cultures of Thinking into her practice.