Consistent, Persistent, Insistent

Positively Managing Student Behaviour

“All things must pass.” — George Harrison

As the final weeks of the summer holidays wind up, I have been fielding a number of questions about managing the behaviour of parents, teachers, children and even our canine friends. I’ll leave the dogs to the experts, although some of what is about to follow would certainly be applicable to your dog. It didn’t come with a great deal of surprise that both parents and teachers (where the bulk of the questions were coming from) were feeling the strain. When under pressure, we often act in ways that don’t help the real problem and actually add to the pressure. A recipe for disaster? You bet!

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The general theme of all the conversations related to a common question. “Why won’t they do what they are told?” It is a question that teachers and parents have been asking themselves for hundreds of years and the solution has always been right under our noses, but under pressure, we reference anger, frustration and intimidation. Have you heard yourself saying, “If you don’t ________________ (clean your room, finish your work) you won’t be __________________(getting lunch, going to your friends!)” What a way to back yourself into a corner and leave yourself open to complete failure. You are doing things TO students or children and run the risk of open refusal, which is counterproductive.

There is another way, which recognises there is a problem, holds those involved accountable and allows parents, teachers and the child to have a voice that places value on the health of the relationship. It might not make all involved feel great and nor should it, but it will make them feel supported, engage them in finding a solution to the problem and hold them accountable for their actions without destroying relationships. That is where the magic happens because we are working WITH those involved to make things right.

The WITH approach comes straight out of the Restorative Practices playbook and has the repair and healing of relationships at the centre of its objectives. Those involved take responsibility for their behaviour and its impact and are prepared to be part of the solution. They are also helped to understand that the best people to fix the problem are the ones in the problem, as long as they have appropriate process and support. Conflict happens, but we reduce the frequency of it when we make sure we right the wrongs and repair the harm together. By reflecting on what happened, repairing the damage that has been done, we reconnect and strengthen the relationship with all those involved. After all, it will be the quality of the relationship that will count when things go wrong — and they will.

Self-control and awareness of others is developed over time. Part of what we are supposed to do at home and school is to develop these skills, ensuring that children and adults are aware of the impact their behaviour has on others. It takes time and often when under pressure, we reference short term solutions that involve threat and intimidation because we can’t see how this behaviour will possibly stop without it. When was the last time you got a good, long-lasting result from this type of behaviour? Is it worth trying something different that strengthens relationships, creates powerful learning opportunities and develops emotional intelligence?

New approaches often don’t work because when they fail once, they are deemed to never work. We can’t see that the challenge in front of us could pass more quickly with a new approach. A new way of doing things requires, ‘Consistence, Persistence and Insistence,’ and a recognition that change takes time. What have you got to lose? It worked on my dog!

Enjoy the holidays! Rest, relax and maybe even let your hair down.

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Ryan Martin


Ryan Martin, recently awarded with the Northern Territory Principal of the Year, is an experienced school leader with a proven track record in behaviour management, leadership and coaching. He has a sharp focus on changing the trajectory of students from highly complex and disadvantaged
backgrounds. Ryan has a passion for education but you might also find him surfing, skating or tinkering around with old cars.