The Connection Between Eating and Reading
We do not doubt that our child will learn to read. From the moment our child is born our expectation is that they will gradually learn to walk, to talk and then to read. It’s one of the rights of passage, a milestone that warms us and reminds us how our often unrequited efforts pay dividends.
We spend years reading to our child even though they cannot read one word back to us. At no point do we throw our hands up in despair and feel that it is a “waste of time.” In fact, for many parents, reading is a nightly, loving ritual for five years before we get the first words haltingly translated back to us from the pages.
I love to equate feeding to reading because there are definite parallels, and yet we frequently approach them differently. Parents faced with a busy schedule and limited time to get things done find that feeding their children is often not the easy, nurturing experience they were expecting. Getting out the door in the morning is often a herculean task and then dinner gets squeezed in among all the other demands of a busy life.
As much as we have an image in our heads as to how we’d like meals to go, the reality is often markedly different.
When a child refuses to eat something or tells us in very specific terms that this is not on the acceptable list it is natural
to drop it from the foods offered. This, overtime, can become an issue for parents as their child accepts less and less variety. It is also self-replicating as options reduce to only those that are the favourite of the child.
If it’s not on the plate, it can’t get eaten. Many parents are not offering foods to their child if they are repeatedly refusing them, which is logical, unless we look at it through the reading lens. Not providing our four-year old with the option of a carrot, as they are not yet eating them, is in effect saying, “No. You can’t have a book as you can’t read yet.”
With books, a young child is often most comfortable with something very familiar. I remember hiding a certain book when I was a nanny as I just could not face the same thing for the third month in a row! Familiarity breeds comfort both for food and for reading.
Repeatedly serving a food with a positive demeanour and the attitude that over time this will become an accepted food
is absolutely the best way to expand a child’s diet. How many years are we reading unrequited?
Children are most comfortable doing something that is within their capability and love things that are easy and at which they excel. Reading along with a book where all the words are known and the pictures familiar is enjoyable. This is especially true at the end of a long and overstimulating day. Our capacity for challenge goes down and our appetite for the unknown reduces.
Eating is no different and I often tell parents that dinner is not the best time
to be experimenting and introducing foods that may be more challenging. At the end of a long day for all of us we tend to be more frazzled, less patient and less receptive to potential hurdles.
Like reading a familiar book where we know what will happen and how it will make us feel, being served a known and accepted food enables us to relax and master our meal without stress or complications.
Changing the ending of a story can be extremely distressing for certain children. Making the familiar unfamiliar can be even more challenging than offering something new. Again, there is a fascinating parallel with eating. Changing a favoured nugget could be very confronting and be rejected in the same way as a new food.
When we think of reading to our child it conjures up a host of warm, fuzzy images. We are imagining curling up on the bed or the sofa and spending quality time with our child. Feeding our child does not always feel the same way. If there is likely to be conflict at the table, food rejected or challenging behaviour, we do not look forward to the meal. Yet, our approach to the meal is critical. When we sit down, smiling and looking forward to a well- earned break where we can converse warmly with the family, then we are creating an atmosphere conducive to a pleasant experience.
Feeding our child positively and without pressure, making the meal table the place to be and expecting food to be eaten competently, goes a long way towards creating that reality.
We would never tell someone they are a rubbish reader, but in effect when we call someone a picky eater, we are doing just that.
As a society we address issues with eating and reading differently, too. If we have a child that struggles to read, we look for supportive strategies, we work together with principle caregivers and we know that early intervention yields better results.
I do not see the same support, education and team strategising around food.
I will finish on that thought. Feed like you read!