Take the power back

How to Stand the Line With Kids Who Want Social Media Accounts

We got to take the power back.”

Rage Against the Machine

It has been an interesting couple of weeks in our house as the significant challenge that social media presents thousands of families became our reality. It was nothing that we haven’t been able to handle, but the reality is that our kids think my wife and I are, “One-eyed, backward hillbillies,” with no idea about the modern world. Of course, I would contend that we are holding our line, not because we have no idea about social media, but quite the contrary: We know too much. We are exercising our right as parents to protect because at this stage of their lives, we are fairly and squarely in charge.

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Charlie and Evie are 12 and 10 years old and almost all of their mates are connected via Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, etc. They are not, and feel a little ripped off. Now, I see the value
in all of these social media platforms as important social connectors, but it is a jungle out there, so as parents of children under the age of at least 15 years old, we have a critical role in knowing who our kids are connecting with, what they are communicating about, and when. If your child is not prepared to share this information with you then you have, “To take the power back.” Switch them off! We don’t just throw the car keys to our kids without teaching them how to drive. The minefield that is social media should require a license as well. Teach them about their role as, “Digital citizens,” and the legal ramifications if they, “Go rouge.”

The horror stories of systematic bullying, unreported disclosure of suicidal thoughts, adult predators setting up alias accounts posing as young kids…the list goes on. In addition, it is now so common to see whole families sitting at cafes connected on a device, but not a word uttered to each other’s faces the entire time. This is never good enough, no matter how busy your life has become. Connecting with each other through discussion about sport, life, school – even the food you are eating is critical to building young people who communicate, empathise and can think critically as they solve the many problems that they face. As parents, we must model this behaviour and it is not done face down in a screen. If you have to connect, wait until they are in bed and take their devices out of their rooms. Good sleep requires them to disconnect. However, the importance of sleep is a topic for another time.

Yep, you guessed it, I am pretty wound up about the role that social media is playing in all of our lives and how it is impacting the development of the young people that I work with in schools right across Australia. What are you doing at home to model social media behaviour that clearly demonstrates its place, but not its foothold in your house? How is your child’s school supporting the development of responsible digital citizens?

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Ryan Martin


Ryan Martin, recently awarded with the Northern Territory Principal of the Year, is an experienced school leader with a proven track record in behaviour management, leadership and coaching. He has a sharp focus on changing the trajectory of students from highly complex and disadvantaged
backgrounds. Ryan has a passion for education but you might also find him surfing, skating or tinkering around with old cars.