Modelling Confident Eating
Many parents are stuck in an ever repeating cycle of foods that their child comfortably eats. Over time, this can often shrink as repetitive menus become boring and our child loses enthusiasm where food is concerned. Children have often become used to only eating favourites and this makes branching out more challenging.
Parents are frequently wanting to add variety to mealtimes, but are stuck as to how to do this without resistance. A lengthy battle over food at the end of a long day, especially if we’ve spent considerable time cooking, is not what any of us needs.
The paradox is that the longer we serve only certain foods, the more difficult it is to add new items to the menu, so the harder it is to make a change.
Let’s look at five recognised strategies for supporting our child to gently add new foods to their repertoire. Support from educators while away from home can be invaluable as well:
- Food is about family, joy and traditions. Anchoring each day with a family meal models eating variety and eating it pleasurably for our child. It is far more effective to follow an example than simply be told to do something.In busy lives, family meal time may not be possible for everyone, but it is so vital. Perhaps it may not be every day, but as much as possible, plan it into your weekly schedule, offering one adult to one child.
Away from home, having adult role models sitting with children as they eat can be supportive of more competent eating.
- Eating confidence is often about comfort level. We don’t willingly eat something that is not familiar.Learning to eat new foods starts with building that comfort level around them. To do this we must become familiar with the look, the feel and the smell. The best way to achieve this is by having them served consistently.
There are many education centres where this is done really well and the majority of the children are able to eat confidently.
3. Parents and caregivers having the belief that a child is able to eat variety is not something that is widely spoken about, but I have seen first hand how powerful this can be – both positively and negatively.
Eating is often spoken about and approached differently to, for example, reading. We would
never say, “My child is terrible at reading,” but we frequently hear, “My child is a picky eater.” This is, in effect, stating that they are not “good” eaters.
It is also very easy to inadvertently stymie progress. “Oh. Don’t bother putting olives on her plate. She’ll never eat them,” becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Children are looking to caregivers to understand what can be good, what to trust and how to behave. If we have every confidence they can do something, it gives them the confidence that they can, too. Our faith in them to achieve builds their self-belief.
4. Serving what we want eaten is a critical part of expanding the variety of foods that a child eats. If it’s not on the plate, it can’t get eaten! I speak to many parents who wish that their children ate more veggies, however, they are not serving veggies! How can they be eaten if they are not served? A self fulfilling situation!
To build confidence in a food, the best results are when we are prepared to serve it, do it consistently and do it with confidence. This doesn’t mean wasting lots of food, either. If it’s part of the communal serving, then it gets eaten, even if our child doesn’t partake. If we are serving something specifically for a child, tiny quantities are always the best. They are less overwhelming, more manageable and provide minimal wastage.
5. Accepting change is super important. If we are unable to accept a change in our lives, then new is far more likely to be out of our reach. Change is often a challenge for us as we become very comfortable in our routines. Habits around food are frequently incredibly difficult to vary.
Even with the most selective of eaters it’s important to make small changes to foods. This does not have to be difficult. In fact, it can be a lot of fun. A good starting point is often varying the presentation of a food. A sandwich can be cut into different shapes. A carrot can be wheels instead of batons. We can use peanut butter as a dip instead of a spread.
New is predicated on the ability to accept change, so it’s essential that we don’t fall into the habit of continually doing things in exactly the same way. This can also inadvertently increase the rigidity of approach to food for a child. If a sandwich is always prepared, cut and offered in the same way, for some children this becomes the only acceptable way for it to be served.
Varying presentation is an easy start and from there we can begin to make small changes to the foods that we serve. The more hesitant the eater, the tinier the changes. Consistently varying the foods that a child eats enables them to take steps in a new direction over time. These steps lead to a slightly different selection of foods accepted. They also prepare a child to accept new foods more comfortably.
Adding variety for a child can be very challenging, but the most important component for success is us as the parent or caregiver. What can you add for your child this week?