Be a B.O.S.S., Not a SSOB

Would You Want to Work With You?

Agood B.O.S.S. is Benevolent, Open, Sensitive and Smart. A poor Boss, spelled backward, is a double S, SOB. The advice Bob Sutton (2010) offers is a good one: If you want to be a good boss, think of the quality bosses you have had and what they did. DO THAT. Think of all the bad bosses you have had and what they did. DON’T DO THAT.

Sutton, in his book, provides some research. A Swedish study of 3,122 people, over 10 year’s time, found those with the best bosses specified quarter goals and got changes implemented, suffered fewer heart attacks than those with bad bosses. I, Bill, watch what happens around leaders and bosses. If good things are happening, it is usually because the culture contributes to making good things happen. Of course, it is not just the boss, (ok, I hate the term boss) it is what the people in the organization create together.

Every time I see another book on leadership, I think, what is the prescription they have? Sometimes, the authors do have some interesting ideas and I certainly want to learn new ways that help me be a better senior leader. Again, Sutton writes, “Great bosses use confidence and other means to enhance control. There are no sure fire paths to success and anyone who tries to sell you the magic cures is a liar.” As I have said before, there is no one right way to do most things. Add to your repertoire.

Marshall Goldsmith gives a list of

negative behaviours bosses sometimes

exhibit. Here are a few of them:

• Winning too much: They think it is all them.
• Making destructive comments: People remember thenegative far longer than the positive.
• Starting the conversations with negatives (such as no, but,

Here is what Sutton calls his 11

Commandments for Wise Bosses:

1. Have Strong Opinions and Weakly Held Beliefs
2. Do Not Treat Others As If They Are Idiots
3. Listen Attentively To Your People; Don’t Just Pretend to Hear What They Say
4. Ask A Lot Of Good Questions
5. Ask Others for Help and Gratefully Accept Their Assistance
6. Do Not Hesitate to Say, “I Don’t Know”
7. Forgive People When They Fail, Remember the Lessons and Teach Them to Everyone
8. Fight As If You’re Right and Listen As If You Are Wrong
9. Do Not Hold Grudges after Losing an Argument. Instead, Help the Victors Implement Their Ideas with All Your Might
10. Know Your Foibles and Flaws, And Work with People Who Corrected Compensate for Your Weaknesses
11. Express Gratitude to Your People

Finally, I have visited Menlo Innovations after reading the book, Joy, Inc., (2013) which is where the ideas of Richard Sheridan were chronicled. There are extremely good models for learning in this organisation. Sheridan just published his book on leadership called Chief Joy Officer (2018). I strongly recommend leaders read this book. Yes, education is different from a for-profit business, but schools can learn from innovative organisations and creative, courageous leaders like Sheridan. How about helping schools become joyful places where we enjoy learning and celebrating JOY.

I will share a few of the many quotes from Chief Joy Officer that were meaningful to me. The first one is, “I think sharing the inside of our masks is the hardest part of authenticity, especially for leaders.” Yes, it is hard and critical to show empathy and authenticity. It is more important to be real, strong and caring. Show humility. Are you willing to go into a classroom, face 30+ moving targets and stand there with sweaty palms not having total control? Do you remember what it is like to be a teacher? Sheridan quoted, “Leaders choose to teach. And teaching is an inherently humble act—focusing first and foremost on the development of others.”

For example, if all the problems are because of your direct reports and all the solutions lie in the hands of those above you, why are we paying you?

• Refusing to express regret: In my opinion, the two most important things you have to be able to say with absolute authenticity is, “I’m sorry,” and “I don’t know.” When I teach new senior leaders, I tell them this. If you can’t say those two things, find another job. Your street credit will limit your influence.

• Killing the messenger: This is a great way to cut off all feedback and knowing problems ahead of time which will undermine your effectiveness.

or and however): My rule is when I hear “but,” they do not believe anything they have already said and now will tell you what they really believe.

Let’s look at the last one more closely. Mistakes will be made. Mario Andretti said, “If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough.” Obviously, we don’t want to crash. We do want to improve our leadership, our learning and our legacy. I think it is only a mistake if we didn’t learn anything which helps us in the future. Try something, and if it works, do more of it. If it doesn’t work, do something else.

Eleanor Roosevelt once stated, “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” Watch those around you and learn from them. Quoted in Sutton’s book, Amy Edmondson’s research shows that psychological safety emerges when those in power persistently praise, reward and promote people who have the courage to act, talk about their doubts, successes and failures, and worked doggedly to do things better the next time.

Remember the childhood story about putting a bell on the cat so the mice would know where the mouse was? That is you as a leader. People know where you are, where you spend your time and, in toxic cultures, people warn others when you are around. When I come into a school as a consultant and we are walking around, I watch how people react with the leader. If they stop their conversation when the boss approaches, ding, ding, ding. I watch the non-verbal behaviour of kids when the leader walks around. Is there interaction and respect or ignoring and moving away? Fortunately, the last two are not the norm in most buildings, but I do see more than I would like to in schools.

• Failing to give proper recognition: Bosses taking credit for what others make happen damages trust for the short and long term.

• Making Excuses: When someone always blames others or makes excuses, and it is their responsibility, who needs them?