This morning I went for a walk along the river at the bottom of our property. Swollen after recent heavy rains, little eddies gently swirled around the banks where the platypus play. The grasses and bushes stretched themselves to the sun, raindrops glistening on their foliage. A wedge-tail eagle circled silently overhead and kookaburras sat patiently, hoping to capture a frog or two for breakfast. And in the quiet of nature, stopped, and paused… and revelled in the day. My heart rate slowed. I breathed deeply.
I felt calm and joyful on the inside, fully conscious in the moment. Refreshed, I continued on my walk. At a time when daily pressures urge us to do more and more, faster and faster, to be connected to the world 24/7, we generally recognise that taking time to pause is a precious and necessary gift to our health, our sleep, and our energy levels. Most of us take time to pause in a variety of ways, and for varying lengths of time. What we don’t always recognise is the gift that pausing brings to our conversations, with multiple benefits for you, for those you are talking with, and for the topic or issue at hand. Pausing offers the talker and the listener/s space to ‘hear’ to understand, to process and to take a ‘helicopter’ view of what is being said, and perhaps what is not being said. When you consciously step outside yourself to *meta-reflect in this way, you are more able to monitor and direct the course of what is happening. (*See Book 5, Learning Talk: important conversations at work, pp 80-81).
Pausing to reclaim to think and to breathe is especially important:
1. When you feel ambushed by others’ needs and agendas, especially when you haven’t had time to think or prepare, or when high emotion is involved.
2. During conversations where there are significant consequences or implications for action, and decisions to be made.
1. Feeling ambushed: strategies to use
These three common scenarios are intended as scaffolds to help you think about times when you have felt ‘ambushed’. Use or adapt the suggestions for how you might respond to your own situation and context.
2. Pause during conversations: strategies to use
Model the effective use of pause with these two practical strategies:
