The importance of developing great habits young

Screen Shot 2015-04-29 at 12.39.29 pm

Routine + Rhythm = Momentum

Being in a state of momentum is exciting! Ideas flow freely – hope, belief and courage work together. But before momentum, comes routine and rhythm, or quite simply habits that are done consistently.

To read the full article, members please log in here. To subscribe please click here.

It’s no secret that successful people have mastered the mundane, whereas unsuccessful people avoid developing good habits. Every decision we make every day counts. Today, we are the accumulative result of our habits.

It’s easy to see the young adults who have been trained in habits and those who have not. Left untrained, these indulged and ill- equipped yadults usually go on to become evicted flat mates, disappointing marriage partners and frequently fired employees.

Consistency creates Rhythm

Rhythm is about consistency and frequency. In the same way that you can’t steer a parked car, you have to be in motion to get rhythm, and you need to have rhythm for a period of time before you can get real traction or momentum. The more often a habit is performed, the more it becomes embedded into a person’s psyche and the more ‘natural’ it becomes. For example, if you want your yadult to change the bed sheets, have them do it every second Saturday – this is practical and easy to remember. The brain subconsciously makes space for the things that are done regularly, so the more routines become automatic, the easier time management becomes. Even the most easily distracted personality can be trained to do things in cycles until those things become a normal part of life.

Yadults who have never been trained into routines tend to do things when they feel like it or when the mood grabs them. Unfortunately, when it comes to doing housework or performing boring tasks, the mood rarely grabs them, and the stars never seem to align for inspiration! Left to themselves, many yadults will change their sheets somewhere between two and three months apart. If you’re happy with that – well, more power to you – but remember all pathways have a destination. It’s not really about changing the sheets but about equipping your child for the real world outside your front door.

Daily deliberate action

 

Good habits form a context whereby your yadult can confidently contribute their best, and be rewarded accordingly. These rewards will sometimes be monetary but, more importantly, they will bring your yadult a sense of self-fulfilment. People often become hindered in life by fairly small and insignificant things. Because the results of performing habits are not often immediately seen, it is easy to think that skipping a good habit today, or indulging in a bad one, won’t really matter. But the truth is that habits have a cumulative effect that will eventually have very noticeable outcomes.

The smallest of decisions, made repeatedly, will add up to a profound effect on a person’s future as illustrated in the following story:

Julie stared in disbelief at her son, Ewan, as he stood in a police holding cell. It was the first time she had seen this side of a police station and she was shocked, embarrassed and angry. ‘How did he get to be there?’ she asked me a few weeks later. The short answer is that Ewan got there by following a pathway of bad habits and poor self-discipline. In this case Julie and her husband, Grant, had definitely noticed Ewan’s laziness and questionable behaviour. They were also aware of his lack of contribution in the home and his woeful respect for the family.

Unfortunately, they didn’t correct Ewan and get him on the right path when he was younger. Grant recalls, ‘It became really hard work to pull him up all the time. Ewan didn’t like to be corrected and when Julie or I did discipline him, he reacted badly either by putting on a tantrum or sulking. By the time he was about eight, he had sharpened his tactics to include conning and lying to us. He would even pretend to be sick to avoid having to do things like helping with the dishes or having a shower. I mean, I know it’s normal for boys to hate personal hygiene, but the kid is now 19 years old and he’s a total slob! He’s still living with us, or should I say “off us”, and he is pretty much calling the shots. To be honest we don’t know how to handle him or solve the problem. Actually I think we are both a bit scared of him. We really regret not pushing through and creating those good habits when he was little.”

On the flip side, I love spending time with happy young adults who are forging ahead. Some are working full-time, while others are at university and have part- time jobs. All of these yadults are involved in community activities. When I ask how they are managing their lives so well, I get a similar answer: ‘Mum and Dad told me that they expected me to be able to handle a lot in life.’ The same kids tell me that their parents were pretty strict while they were growing up. They had to do their chores before they could go out and play, and they weren’t allowed to quit on the things that they started (such as learning an instrument or playing in a team).

Some of these kids came from homes where the parents had divorced but, to their credit, the parents had managed to call a truce and be intentional about the way they parented. These young people have developed good personal habits and disciplines that have now become ingrained in their lives. It’s not rocket science – just common sense that is a little less common these days.

Good habits are hard in the beginning but yield great results in time. Bad habits are easy in the beginning, and are usually fun, but they exact a high cost in the end. So what’s more difficult? The beginning of a good habit or the end result of a bad one?

Related Posts

Rediscovering our Educational Why

Rediscovering our Educational Why

Reframe To Reduce Stress And Reclaim Your Power

Reframe To Reduce Stress And Reclaim Your Power

Handling the Tough Stuff

Handling the Tough Stuff

Feeling Safe to Celebrate Ourselves

Feeling Safe to Celebrate Ourselves

Yvonne Godfrey


Yvonne Godfrey is the founder of Miomo (Making it on my Own), a 10-day, live-in experience to equip 17- to 24-year-olds for a responsible, independent and successful adult life. www.miomo.co.nz