As a keen equestrian, I have be come involved with an organisation that is working hard to develop a bridleway system in New Zealand. The concept of bridleways is certainly not new internationally; the UK has a tradition of bridleways that stretches back hundreds of years, but it is a comparatively new initiative to New Zealand. A key stumbling block to success in our country is the notion of multi-use tracks: We simply aren’t that keen to share.
The concept of sharing – something that we teachers spend most days encouraging – seems to cause adults to recoil: We are reluctant to share and frequently try to avoid sharing altogether. I became more aware of this reluctance to share when I began noticing that horse riders have to negotiate dangerous roads because they weren’t allowed to ride on the paths designated for cyclists. Suddenly my net was open and everywhere I looked I saw examples of people clinging to t their precious right to be the sole users of a resource. I must admit; it got me thinking and I pondered on my own reluctance to share. I refuse to share food, for instance.
I decided to explore the concept of sharing within the adult world and came up with some startling thoughts that suggest we are in need of a paradigm shift. For example, think about the following and how reluctant you are, or would be, to do the following;
• Share the road with other non-car vehicles or non-motorized forms of transport
• Share council funding
• Share sports fields
• Share community facilities
• Share access ways
• Share beach access
• Share fishing resources
• Share farmland
• Share tables in cafes
• Share private property
• Share pr ivately owned resources – swimming pools, tennis courts, horse arenas
The harsh reality in the adult world is we don’t have the resources or funds to have single-use facilities for all sports or recreational hobbies, and the increasing demand for more is unlikely to be met by local councils. This means we are going to have to learn to share more or we won’t have anything. Within the classroom how do you foster sharing and is sharing really the right word to use? I struggle with word sharing because it appears loaded with obligation and sufferance, and ultimately guilt that we experience when we are asked to let someone else take our favourite toy and play with it. Why should any child do this? What moral or basic principle is behind this notion of sharing? Is it pity – you don’t have one so I’ll share mine with you? Or is about equality of outcome, that everyone must get a turn? Our practice reflects our beliefs and values, and therefore, how we approach the concept of sharing and the intent behind the process is worth thinking about. In the process of artificially creating equality of outcome, we may instill feelings of guilt and reluctance to share. The sense of guilt instilled in children to get them to share is a sure fire way to generate belligerence and reluctance, and they may only be obliging when you are around to keep order. This need to supervise children must be carefully balanced with the intention of letting children act independently and thus enabling them to become capable of making their own choices and decisions. After all, the aim is surely to train a response that doesn’t require constant supervision, a response that is under the stimulus control of the resource itself in the presence of other children.
I use a behavioural term here to emphasize that we are indeed training children: They don’t magically share things because we ask them to. Stimulus control refers to “the degree of correlation between a stimulus and a subsequent response, according to Martin and Pear. For example the action of putting on a light switch is under the stimulus control of the switch; we don’t try and turn a light on by opening a door. We see the light switch and if it’s up and we want light, we push it down. So if we train children to behave in a certain way because we want that behaviour to occur without us around, we need to be aware of what controls the behaviour – because it mustn’t be us.
I feel we may be short of the mark when we talk about sharing and perhaps what we are really trying to instill is the concept of empathy, understanding and inclusiveness. Acknowledging that someone else exists, empathizing that someone would like a turn, and understanding that maybe they might like to join in or be included. What I believe is important is ensuring that children feel connected to those around them, rather than feeling competitive when asked to share resources.
Ideas to encourage sharing
• Present role play activities that require the use of limited resources. How can we all get by?
• Discuss with children why certain resources are valuable and desired. Encourage them to think about their “specialness” so that everyone feels connected to or involved with the resources.
• Feel connected as a group; this can be fostered through individuals talking about their favourite item at the centre/school. It allows everyone to understand what others value and why.
• Discuss not having access to things. How do they feel when they can’t play with something, can’t use something?
This all builds on the concept of empathy and generates an awareness that we all need similar things and feel the same way, we just express it differently.
If we expect children to share in school, we need to start modeling this behaviour in the public arena or we will continue to breed a sense of obligation and resignation rather than a desire to empathise and share. As adults we need to be seen collaborating when resources appear scarce if we wish to make progress and foster an inclusive approach to the use of resources.