Live by Choice, not by Chance: Believe positive intent

Screen Shot 2014-08-15 at 9.57.00 amEvery day your choices not only shape your lives, but influence the choices of those around you – family, friends, even students. Every day you choose what you say, think, believe and do and every day you have no control over what others say, think, believe and do – but you do have a choice of attitude. It is that attitude that will define you and will determine how you respond to criticism, change and adversity.

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Every day you influence the choices of others, justbyhowyouchoosetobe-sonowis the time to become intentional with your thoughts and accept responsibility for what you choose to say, think, believe and do. You have the power and ability to actually think any thought you choose, and you have that same power and ability to ignore or dismiss any thought you choose – the important thing is to become intentional and in control of your thoughts and emotions, rather than your thoughts and emotions controlling you. But it takes practice, commitment and intent.

What you think in your head, determines what you see. If you think someone doesn’t like you, no matter what they do or say, you will be looking to prove yourself right. If you think “change” or a particular situation is not a good one, you will be looking for all the reasons to prove yourself right. If you think your partner is selfish – that is all you see and you will miss any acts of generosity. It’s like you are seeing everything through a negative filter and when that happens, you no longer see possibilities and opportunities. Every choice you make creates consequences for other people – like the ripples caused by throwing a pebble into a pond. We often focus on the ripples that other people cause rather than our own ripples because it is so much more enjoyable to stand around the coffee machine at work and complain about the behaviour and mistakes of others, than it is to reflect on your own behaviour. But every day you should be asking yourself – what have I given to others, what have I received from others and what trouble have I caused.

What you also say in your head about yourself, determines what you will see – this is your self belief. The most important words you will ever hear are the words you say to yourself, so in order to change yourself belief or self talk, you need to change the words you use. Be more intentional with your thoughts, choose to be proud of who you are, choose a gratitude attitude and be thankful every day for the people you meet and for the life you have – and this change in turn will positively influence the lives of those you come into contact with.

Gratitude is something we don’t demonstrate enough of. Have you ever walked into a cafe and smelled the wonderful aroma of freshly brewed coffee, but when you have been there a while, you can’t smell it any more. That is because you have become used to it. The same happens in relationships and life. You get used to the comfort of the relationship and then the romance or excitement that occurred initially is gone. However you can reignite that passion and excitement by being grateful for the experiences, and for each other, every single day. It is said that gratitude is the single biggest contributor to a successful marriage – being grateful for the times you share, being grateful for the joy you bring to each other’s lives and being ever so grateful for the family that you have, the times with your kids, the beautiful people that your children can grow up to become.

Do you take a moment to stop and ‘smell the roses’, or to appreciate the sunrise, the sunset or just a beautiful view or sky. When you are more aware of what you have around you, and you decide to really appreciate what you have, you become so much happier.

Gratitude and positivity are not just words or ideals. If you can become more grateful, if you can create a more positive attitude, then you are likely to become happier, healthier, have better relationships, be more successful and live longer. So I know what I choose!

It is so important to choose your thoughts and it is just as important to accept that you cannot choose the thoughts of others. Your thoughts are your thoughts and therefore someone else’s criticism is really just their thoughts spoken out loud. Your choice is what you will do with those words – will you take the criticism personally and allow it to affect your day or your life, or will you take a moment to ask yourself whether there is any amount of truth in what the other person has said and if not – “don’t own it”!

LInDA gUIrEY

Don’t own someone else’s words about you – those words are their thoughts, nothing more.

One of the most profound shifts in thinking can come from these three words:

“Believe Positive Intent”

By ‘believing positive intent’ you are giving yourself time to breathe for a moment, to reflect on what has been said or done, and to take a step back rather than be in ‘reactionary’ mode. You will find that it is so much easier to not react to the words or actions of others, and to understand that other people are entitled to their opinions – what is important is what YOU think inside. The same thing applies to the written word – emails, texts, Facebook. “Believe Positive Intent”, breathe and don’t react.

I say all of this because I have experienced it. I was always a positive person, but through becoming more grateful for the world around me every day, by being more intentional with my thoughts and being able to not own the criticism of others, my life has been transformed, in ways I never thought possible. I don’t have to look to external gurus or inspirational heroes to find that higher self belief and inspiration. I just have to choose to find that strength within. I choose to Live by Choice, Not by Chance.

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Linda Guirey


Linda - The Choice Champion - is a speaker, coach, trainer and author who speaks about creating positive change in your life through understanding your choices. Linda was voted Best Speaker in New Zealand for 2012, in the Corporate Events People’s Choice Awards. Linda is also an artist and uses her artwork in her presentations as they reflect the messages she shares. www.lindaguirey.co.nz